The Bent Page

I couldn’t resist the opportunity to post this one. I was on my way to Aruba, flying the friendly skies of American Airlines. They have been my transportation provider of choice for years now, especially to Aruba. On the first leg of the flight, we took off at six in the morning. Naturally, breakfast was served. Here’s a look at what we enjoyed:

In the first place, that omelet was perfect, the eggs fluffy, not dry nor runny. The potatoes were cooked exactly right. The salsa added a bit of zing to an otherwise average breakfast option. The fruit was also perfectly ripe, ready to be eaten with sweet goodness and nutrition. Then, there was a bagel, not the greatest one I’ve had, but considering it came from an airplane galley re-heater, was just fine.

Hence, the result can be seen below:

Yes, mom, I ate everything. If my wife hadn’t closely guarded her plate, I would have eaten hers, too. That makes her angry, so I don’t risk it much anymore.

People like to complain about airline food, and I understand the urge to whine, especially if they remember the good old days. However, consider that the food must be prepared mostly ahead of the flight, re-heated in a galley the size of a closet, and served in conditions that are less than ideal. Add to these challenges, the fact that the primary responsibility of flight attendants is for YOUR SAFETY and you’re left with a situation that leaves much to be desired in the culinary department. Nonetheless, my belly is full, and after wrangling my cat through security, I’ll sleep well on the balance of this flight.

Then, on the second segment, the one that takes me from Miami to Aruba, there is only one thing to do. That’s right, enjoy an ICE-COLD Coca Cola at 35,000 feet.

It’s the real thing no matter what your altitude, latitude, or attitude. So put your seat back, relax, and enjoy flight. We’ll be there in no time. And where we’re going is literally, “Paradise, but not for amateurs,” if I may quote from my own book. Are you ready?